Slash, Tumble, Fall
by LoveBug53
Summary: Life in Area Fifty-Something had never been easy, and with aliens thrown into the mix, life just seems to get harder. BOB's still brainless, Link's stubborn, Sqweep's annoying, Coverton's a butt, Cockroach is crazy, and Susan is... well, Susan. What happens when she gets hit by one of the Doc's rays? Set during the TV series. Lots of character development. Eventual SxC.
1. Just a Television

"Ah, a nice evening of mind numbing TV."

Link sighed from his spot on the couch, flipping mindlessly through the channels until he found the Soap Opera Network. Beside him, he glanced over to BOB, and flippantly indicated an arm towards the TV.

"How're ya feelin BOB?"

"Like I can't see the TV." His eyeball was floating aimlessly in his gut, precariously facing away from the television.

"Hmm, like always." Link commented dryly in response.

He shrugged his shoulders , choosing to simply focus his attention on what was happening on his television screen. Gradually, he allowed himself to be swept along with the feelings being expressed by the characters in the show, and he felt himself tearing up from a sheer happiness on his favorite characters' faces.

BOB gazed tearfully at the screen, whispering from beside him, "Oh, Carlos. You do care."

Link nodded along with his words.

From a small entryway in the side of the wall, Sqweep sauntered into the room, grinning to himself in slight giddiness. It was just from his attitude, the way that he was purposefully holding himself, that you could tell that he was in the middle of conducting something project related.

"Greetings BOB; Link. How are you this day?"

"Good..."

Link stared over at Sqweep, his eyes narrowing as they guy made a beeline for their television.

Link's brow rose in confusion, but he still spoke down to him in a suspicion. Though over time he had gradually gotten used to all of his different schemes, Sqweep's actions had never seemed to not unnerve him at least slightly. "Uh, Sqweep? What are you doing?"

Beside him, suddenly jumping off of his cushion in excitement, a jolt had run down BOB's ectoplasm from his friend's appearance. This meant only one thing! Leaping towards Sqweep, he threw his hands up joyously in the air and shouted, "Are you gonna make waffles?! I want some waffles. Cause clearly, you are here to make waffles."

Cheerfully, the tiny alien merely waved a hand in response, glancing carelessly over his shoulder as he pulled out a tiny remote from his pocket.

After raising it to his eyes, he verbally responded, "No BOB, I am not here to make waffles. Just one moment Link. Right now, I am simply testing the basic Earth broadcasting signal of your planet. It should only take but a moment."

He clicked around on his device for a long quiet moment, before placing it atop their television, and the remote dutifully clicked into place, quickly sticking to its surface.

"Just one more second people... My signal response reader should first detect, and then directly connect to your planet's media wave, before it will be able to fully decode it..." He threw his small arms behind his back, pausing curiously his speech. "Yep, just a moment."

Suddenly, while in the room, there was a long, awkward stretch of silence which began to suffocate him.

His machine was taking longer to find the waves than it should have been, and it was definitely not up to the speed that it had been advertised as.

_Fast as the speed of light, his magazine had said..._

Sqweep really hated the emotion of feeling awkward.

"Aaaaany moment now."

From the couch, both BOB and Link stared over at him with bored eyes. The latter of the pair reached down and lightly scratched at his butt.

"Just a... moment."

The TV immediately turned off.

"Wait, what!" Link yelled.

"Uh-oh." Sqweep's little 'oops' fell on deaf ears.

Both Link and BOB stared lifelessly toward their TV.

Slowly, staring in front of himself with hollow eyes and gazing as if his entire world had just been shattered, Link let out a tiny, emotional sniff. His next words came out in a painfully surreal voice. "I... I can't believe it."

They couldn't have just lost their television... not again!

"IT'S -hiccup- OOOOVER! YOU HEAR ME, OVER!"

The swamp monster turned his gaze over to BOB who was sobbing hysterically over his shoulder.

Just moments ago they were watching their favorite soap opera, and now... now it had been heartlessly taken away from them.

"WHAT -hiccup- DO WE -hiccup- DO?!"

And they had just gotten to the best part! The couple that they had rooted for, Rosita and Carlos, were just about to kiss and now they were gone... and now...

Now, their only TV was dead.

"WHHHHHHHHY?"

When the TV had suddenly shut off, it had been a shock to Sqweep, and he had accidentally fell down to the ground in his surprise. Now, he looked over at them with a nervous expression, desperately hoping that his overall cuteness level would manage to quell their nerves. He still remembered how upset they had been over his last debacle with their television... He knew that they were sure to not be happy about this. "W-We have a problem."

When they didn't look towards him, he let out a sigh of relief, suddenly realizing that they were still preoccupied with the television and not him. It seemed that now, for the first time in his life, he had felt grateful towards the piece of Earthling technology. Though it continued to make most humans lazy and rotund... he would have certainly been in a world full of pain, if not for the numbing calmness it seemed to give his two friends.

Flabbergasted, Link stared at the television screen in front of him. His shoulders drooped in resignation when it continued to broadcast nothing but a thick wall of never-ending black. Staring sadly into the depths of the now deceased screen, Link reached out a weary hand, his eyes watering slightly, and he gently placed the appendage over the right edge, slowly bringing it down the side and repeatedly rubbing it softly. "Shh, it's gonna be okay, baby girl. It's okay. You're okay... You're in a better place now."

From the side of his eye, Link looked over at Sqweep and sent him a dirty look. The little guy shrunk back in fear.

BOB sniffled, looking confused from beside him. "W-Where is she now?" He turned his eye over to Link, his expression earnest, and the fish man didn't have the heart in him give an honest answer.

"Well, BOB..." Sobering up, Link threw an arm around his body, before pulling him close. "Sorry for the armpit smell, by the way."

"I can't smell at all."

Link ignored BOB and threw out his other hand as he spoke, waving it along with his words. "Why, TV, she's just... she's..."

His head perked up as inspiration suddenly hit him. "Why, she's simply sitting on a shelf in the department store of the sky."

Growing somewhat comforted by Link's response, BOB sniffled again, shifting slightly so that he could childishly look down at him from within his grasp. "And is she... " He quickly brightened at the sudden bit of a thought. "... I-Is she on sale?"

"Yes, BOB. She is." Link's expression grew proud, and he grinned up at him. "Seventy-five percent off, too! And to top it all off, she's the cheapest of the bunch!"

Across from them, staring at the scene in mild interest, was Sqweep, who watched their interaction from behind the television with his head ducked protectively behind it where only his eyes could peer curiously above it.

_'So... __**this**__ is friendship?'_

Sqweep had never been the martian to have friends... It was quite the foreign, dare he say, _alien_ concept to him.

Stuck within a deep contemplation, Sqweep felt his eyes narrow as he watched them. His own dark orbs shown along with his newfound realizations, and within his mind, all of his thoughts ran together with all of his assumptions running along in overdrive.

_'At least... it seems to be friendship. By way of Link's example and the official definition of it.'_

Seeing the way that Link was watching his buddy and the way that BOB was rapidly warming up to the idea of their non-functional appliance being gone, Sqweep knew that Link's words were working on him, and he wondered just how the monster was capable of coming up with the right things to say to lessen his friend's fears. It wasn't a secret, especially for BOB, that they weren't the sharpest crayons on the base.

So... what was it? Was it an invisible connection between them? Was it Link's intuition?

Was it... mind control?

No, wait. BOB didn't have a mind.

_'Is... Is this is what caring for someone looks like?'_

"But what about _her_?" BOB's sudden question tore Sqweep from his thoughts, and pulled him back to the pair's previous conversation. He had a large finger pointed toward the body of the TV, and he looked over at Link for guidance.

"Oh. The TV, well, she's on vacation now. Uh, at the department store. In the sky. And _that_..." Link gestured to the real TV. "Is going to the dump! _Right _after we tell Monger that we need a new one."

"Oh..." BOB nodded, carefully moving out of Link's grasp. "Okay."

The fish man sighed, his eyelids drooping as he gazed up at him from his cushion. "Good."

He was glad that the discussion was over and done with...

"Hey, I'm hungry!" BOB suddenly proclaimed, his words completely changing the subject. It was obvious that he had immediately forgotten their last conversation.

"Yeah, me too." Link sadly agreed. He picked himself off the couch and lazily put his arms behind his head, before tiredly arching to crack his back. A happy sigh escaped him. "I'm also bored. You wanna go see what Doc is doing?" As he asked the question, he had purposefully ignored the urge to look over at Sqweep and offer him the same gesture. He had to be careful not to make that mistake; he had become slightly used to the small alien's presence around Area Fifty-something.

And hell, it wasn't like the monster hated him...

He was just annoyed that he had been forced to lose his daily dose of mind-numbing TV, because of the guy's oh-so-important 'planetary research'.

_'Tch, stupid project.'_

Though the little guy had been there for about four months, Link still didn't fully trust him. To tell the truth, he had considered him a pest on most days.

(Especially whenever he was doing something that had to do with his collecting Earth data, that is.)

_'Yeah, get all the information you want... It'll all just be used to enslave us all, or somethin, anyway.'_

As Link trudged out of the room with BOB trailing aimlessly behind him, he didn't look behind him, and he kept his gaze locked in front of him as he crossed through the doorway which led them down to the lab.

"Hey Link, I wonder if we have any gelatin in the fridge... Do we?"

"Well, I dunno BOB. Maybe."

"Hmm, I _am_ getting pretty lonely... Do you think Susan would make me another girlfriend?"

* * *

Behind them, in their wake, they had left a now saddened Sqweep, who lied back, leaning dejectedly against the back of their now broken TV.

**"Guys..."**

Sometimes while he was on this planet, Sqweep couldn't help but feel lonely.

**"I want to come, too."**

_'So... very lonely...'_

When had he last seen his parents?

As a matter of fact, when had he last seen all of the other students who had been sent to study the various, other less intelligent planets...?

He had absolutely no idea.

Lifting a hand up to wipe at his eyes -they had been itching-, Sqweep suddenly realized that he was crying. He couldn't cry. He couldn't allow himself to cry.

He was only a young martian, nothing but a small, innocent child.

But... he was on his own now; on a strange, new planet.

He couldn't cry.

**"...please?"**

But a little boy's heart is broken so easily.

**"...please."**

And so, sitting alone in an empty entertainment room, huddled and shaking in a small, tight ball, he cried.

He cried until he could cry no more.


	2. The Argument

Sauntering haughtily into the Lab, Link immediately noticed the presence of Doctor Cockroach, who stood over a table with his back to him as his hands made a quick work of the various pieces of metal sitting in front of him.

"Now, this goes here. And that goes there..." Link could hear him mumbling idly from beneath his breath. Making no effort to stay silent, Link approached him from behind with BOB slinking dumbly behind him. "Oh, I know! Chewed bubble gum! Hmm, I do believe that I will need some of that..."

A few old tin cans, some pipes, and and even a small transit radio laid out before him, and he picked each of them up and put them all together with gusto.

"Zztt..." He giggled maniacally, as the radio in his hands let out a tiny static noise. A small jolt of electricity suddenly flowed through him, making him shake with a new-found spark in his eyes. The fake, non-medical doctor had always had a love for using old radios in his creations.

For one thing, they had always made it easy for there to be an electric charge in his experiments...

But most of all, he just simply enjoyed radios. Having been born in an era where radios were used as a regularity, he had developed a slight love for them over the years, as they had reminded him of a time when he was younger. They seemed to always bring back memories of a much simpler time, a time when he wasn't so different from everyone else; of the days back when he wasn't a... a monster of a man. They were the years back when he was a young, engenious scientist, just starting his career in the scientific field.

"And this goes... oh, there! Ah, ha-ha!"

Coming to stand next to him, Link raised a eyebrow in confusion as he leaned around Doc's head to face him. He lazily lent his back against the lab table that the Doc was working on, and stared down at him from his tall height, crossing his buff arms over his stomach.

The cockroach simply ignored him.

"Uh, Doc? What're you doing?"

"Hush." The man commanded, throwing a hand up in a silencing gesture. All of his attention was focused on the metallic pieces in front of him. "Give me a moment."

"Sheesh." Link grumbled, watching as he tinkered away with his contraption. The fish-man annoyedly turned himself to look over at BOB, before rolling his eyes behind the man's back. "What a response. You'd think that I had just asked him a question, or somethin."

BOB smiled, quickly throwing up a hand. "Ooh, pick me! Pick me! I have a question."

Link let out a disgruntled sigh. "Just go ahead, man."

Shooting the doctor an annoyed look, he said, "Maybe the Doc will grace _you_ with an answer..."

The monster in question merely glanced up and shook his head at Link's words, before continuing on with his work.

"Oh... Well, okay!" The blue mass of oblivious genetic material giddily nodded, feeling only too happy to ask his question. "Uh, Doc, do you know where babies come from?!"

"Ah, I did it!" He shouted joyously.

"Wait! You made a baby?!" BOB's shocked cry pulled the doctor's consciousness away from his triumph.

"No, no, you fool." He responded fondly, finally turning his large eyes upon him. "Can't you see it? I have just built a _ray gun_! Not bad for a couple of rusted, old tin cans and a beat up radio transit, eh my boy?"

Curious, Link pushed himself away from the table so that he could get a better look at it, and asked, "So, uh, what does it do?"

"Well Link, it's..."

When the doctor turned around to give him a response, he was surprised when he suddenly fell short of an answer and his mouth hung slack for a short moment.

"It's..." As his voice trailed off, Link tapped his foot a few times, his brow moving skyward.

"It's _what_, Doc?"

Now, just _what _had he built the gun for? Surely he hadn't forgotten as to why.

Although... the doctor _did_ have the tendency to dive straight into action before thouroughly thinking things through. Past incidents just within the last month could have easily told him that. It had been on nothing but a strict impulse, a passing idea, which had forced him to begin building his ray.

Gradually closing his mouth, he took on a thoughtful expression, before looking over at Link. Placing his hands over the edges of his coat, he felt himself begin to perspire, as he worked up the nerves to send him a terribly sheepish grin. Yes... this wasn't the first time that he had done this. Oh well, it was just another contraption to be added on his long list of mistakes. "Ya know, now that I think about it, I actually have no idea what it's supposed to be." His track record had become quite long as of late.

"Then find out." Link suggested, staring boredly over at him. The simplistic implications of his statement had left Cockroach feeling a bit unnerved, and he frowned when he saw the tiny spark of excitement suddenly brewing deep within Link's youthful eyes.

"Hmm..." The Doc gently reached down and picked up the gun, idly turning it around in his hands as he stared. He kept his gaze hard and calculating with his eyes squared directly on it. "Yes, I suppose so..."

He stared hard at the gun, his frown deepening as he wondered just what to do with it. He may have been nothing but a crazy old man, but the safety of the people around him (mainly his friends) had always been his number one priority while being on the base. He didn't want it blowing up on them. "I guess... I guess that the only way for us to properly know what it does would be for us to try it out. That is, if we do it on something quite small, of course-"

Link took a step forward and quickly drew the gun from his hands. "Yep! And I should be the one to do that."

"_What_?!" Cockroach cried. He quickly stuck out his hands, determinedly trying to grab a hold of his newly built gun. "Wait Link! Give me back my ray, _this instance_! You have absolutely _no_ idea of what it is capable of!"

His much older, and far less matured college stuck out a tongue at him, and moved his arm up to hold the weapon higher above his head. "Eh, it's nothin' that a bit of shootin' won't fix. No one'll be hurt; no harm, no foul."

"Seriously Link, is this just a game to you?" The doctor's cry made BOB zone in on their conversation.

"Game? Hey, I like games! Let me join!" He gleefully slithered over to them.

"No BOB! Please don't encourage him."

Link paused in his gloating, and his eyes lit up, suddenly remembering the broken TV which now sat in their entertainment room. "Actually, yeah... Let's play a game, BOB. Here, catch!"

"Got it!" BOB threw out an arm which stretched until he caught a hold of the gun. When he brought it back down to his chest, he stared curiously down at it, entirely unsure as of what to do with it. "Uh, what do I do now?"

"Throw it back to me!"

"Don't be silly, Link! This is dangerous BOB, so give it to me."

Link let out an annoyed grunt. "Aw, come on Doc! Don't be stingy! You're not the one having to live without a TV!"

"Bah, and you're not a fish-man living without a body for your head to sit on, so there! On a side note, what happened to our tele?" When they said nothing, the insect only shook his head. "No, doesn't matter. Any-who, give me the gun, BOB, please."

"No, don't do it BOB!" Link pestered from the side.

The doctor immediately took a step towards him, unknowing of the confusion that was building up in BOB's brainless system. Inside his head, the blue blob began to panic. "Our lives could most definitely be in danger right now, if you do not give me that gun! I would really like it if you could just simply hand it over to me..."

"Come on, BOB, throw it to me!"

The mutated mass started to shake within his ectoplasm. "Uh, g-guys? I really don't like all of this pressure..."

Dr. Cockroach angrily stomped on the ground, having not heard his statement, and glared dangerously over at Link. "BOB, you will do no such thing!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What're you gonna do about it, huh? Dance me to death?"

The doctor momentarily stopped to think, as if the notion could be even remotely helpful. "Well, while I would probably just vaporize you on the spot, I _do _specialize in dance, so I could certainly try... I know that it wouldn't be _too _hard to out-dance someone like you."

"Hey, what does that mean?!"

"Nothing." The scientist grinned evilly, knowing fully well that he was pushing at his friend's buttons. Link had always had an inferiority complex about such things. "Nothing that someone like _you_ would understand."

"What do you mean 'someone like me'?" Link asked. He could feel himself fuming from where he stood.

Dr. Cockroach chuckled at Link's words, his tone turning dreadfully sarcastic. "Oh, why, the fact that you are a neanderthal, of course! Seriously Link, who else on this base was frozen for, oh, I don't know, hundreds, maybe even thousands of years, hmm? Tick tock, now. Time has a way of passing by very quickly; you must have a lot of catching up to do. "

"Why, I ought'a-" Link took a step forward, moving his hands up his arms to push up his invisible sleeves. "BOB, give me the gun! I know what we could use it on."

Cockroach suddenly turned his back on them, giving him the cold shoulder. "Hmph, you wouldn't dare."

"Oh, yeah?"

The doctor glanced over his back. "Yeah."

"Okay." Link drew his hands into fists, and Cockroach turned back to face him.

"Bring it on."

"Oh my god!" BOB threw up his hands, accidentally letting go of the gun in the process. "Stop all this fighting, you guys!" His hands moved down to rest on the sides of his face, and he stared over at them with the gaze of a frightened child. "I don't like fighting!"

"Shut up BOB!", they both yelled, turning on one another, "This is none of your business!"

"Oh, hi guys!" A much friendlier voice suddenly spoke. "What's up-" It was a woman, and upon entry, she had immediately failed to notice the tension within the room.

Suddenly, a loud blasting sound made both men turn on their heels. Then, in the silence, there came a dull thud.

"I didn't do it!" BOB cried.

Gasping on impulse, both Link and Cockroach stared over at the still figure lying before them on the ground. As a horrible realization of what had just happened finally sunk into their minds, a fresh bit of bile rose in the very bottom of their throats, and Cockroach immediately ran forward, worriedly dropping to his knees by her side.

"Susan! Susan, are you alright?"

Reaching out for her hand, he hurriedly felt for a pulse. After a moment of counting, the man gave a long, mental sigh, as he recognized that her veins were pumping at the speed of a normal human heart rate.

Quickly slinking over to where he stood above them, BOB gazed down at Susan, completely scared for her well-being. Somehow, he felt like this was his fault. "I-Is she... alright?"

For some reason, the mutated tomato had no clue as to why, he felt as if this was his doing, and he hated thinking that he was the one who had hurt her. He would never intentionally hurt Susan.

Leaning down to listen to her breathing, Cockroach let out a shuddering sigh, as a thought entered his mind. A raw emotion suddenly struck his heart.

This had all been his fault. Everything: the gun, BOB's mistake. He didn't no what to do.

"I don't know BOB."

When he heard the shallow breaths which were being let in from her nose, he stared down at her chest, wondering if only that would be enough air for her. Forcing his thoughts back onto the lessons of CPR that he had been given as a young teenager, the old doctor couldn't quite remember just what signs to look for... but clearly, he still remembered how to do it. CPR was overall, a very simple concept. He just... hated the thought of having to do it to her.

Really, in all honestly it felt to him as if he were... taking advantage of her, in a sense.

But why? Hell, he had no idea. Perhaps it was because of her gender? Because of the truth that Susan was, in fact, a _lady_ in all senses of the word? Still, the doctor had no clue. All he knew was that he was worried about her... And that he desperately wanted her to be okay.

"Please..." he slowly whispered, growing all too aware of the body that he was currently in. Glancing unsuredly at the scenery around him, confused of what to do, he looked over at Link and BOB for any form of guidance.

_What lady would **ever** want him as their rescuer?_

With that said, the worried doctor gazed down at her and took in as deep a breath as he could manage. "... Please don't hate me."

He smashed his lips onto hers.

* * *

**AN: Uh-oh, d****ramabomb! ****So, what do ya'll think? If you're enjoying it so far, then please, leave a review! Anything is fine, for it would make me ever, so happy.  
Also, do you guys have any ideas, or things that you would like to see happen? Just let me know! :) **

**So, until our next installment, goodbye!**


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